Visionary Impressions

I've decided not to visit the eye doctor, even though I'm blind as a dizzy kid holding a baseball bat under a pinata. I see everything about as well as I need to. Viewing life through an impressionistic lens has its upside:

1) I'm accurate with the time, give or take 6 hours.

2) Now and then I feel the coffee table; if the top feels fluffy--I dust it.

3) I'm friendlier blind than sighted, I just wave at everyone, cover all the bases.

4) I'm good-looking--wrinkles and blemishes are absent and my eyebrows look neat enough.

5) I've become more trusting in life. I can't tell keys apart so I leave all doors unlocked. When I hand a bill of currency to a cashier, it's with utter confidence he or she will honestly give back the proper change, or politely ask me for more money. When this happens I hand them my wallet and sweetly say, "Just take whatever you need." Since I'm not sure how much money I started with, it's rarely a problem. I'd rather use my plastic, and I do, but it gets a tad embarrassing when I attempt to swipe my card in everything from the receipt printout machine to the stapler.


Well, you get the picture.